Opinatio

In all seriousness, the destruction of Touchdown Jesus somewhere in Ohio -- by a lightning bolt, no less -- is a big deal. I can’t think of a better demonstration of the irrationality of faith.

Think back to when Hurricane Katrina destroyed New Orleans (or rather, the Army Corps of Engineers destroyed NOLA), and the first thing out of Jerry Falwell’s mouth is that God was making a statement about “the gays.” Enough with the debauched lifestyle, the fabulous wardrobes, the outrageousness, the uppity desire to get married just like normal people, God appeared to be saying. I strike you down, Homo Town!

Never mind that there are other more recognizably gay watering holes in this country, my own SF among them. And never mind that the real victims of the flood were thousands of poor blacks who lived in the sections of town deepest below sea level, as you might expect from free market capitalism. The Rev. Falwell declared that it was queerness that had moved the Almighty to smite.

But now God has zapped the kitschiest of all kitschy Jesus representations, using his weapon of choice (lightning, just ahead of heartbreaking irony). If Jerry were still with us, he’d have to conclude that God was angry because we rendered his only begotten son in such a crass and tasteless way, or that he was angry with Jesus himself for an extravagant end zone celebration (always meant to show up the other team). Surely this was an omen, lo.

And yet, I have a feeling that the faithful folk out there are probably just chalking it up as “something that happened.”

This is how the religious mind works. When something supports their fantasy of a great and powerful being in the sky, they embrace and amplify it. When it doesn’t support the fable, they ignore it. This is one of those times. Lightning striking that particular structure was an accident caused by immediate meteorological conditions -- don’t you know anything about science, you dipstick atheist? Doesn’t mean nothin’.

Now, if the lightning had struck Elton John, on the other hand...